Thursday, February 5, 2009

xX Holidays の Hibi の Feeling Xx

Yes...I'm in holiday after my miserable semester & test. Just feel really tired. During this 3 weeks holiday...MAN!! WHAT I GONNA DO!?!?. Spend more time with my family? Looking for job in Kampar, at least would let me continue enjoying internet & downloads?? Looking job in my hometown Anson? Focus on my services at church? Or just stay at home to take care my weak grandpa? Or being a HIKIKOMORI??
I don't really know. What I really want & hope for is compose a complete real song then arrange it in recording studio. Cause i usually record my own song in phone. Though a bit i'll say, who can listen then edit this crap & lousy quality music. Even William Hung will piss on me. But as an amateur music lover what can I do? I don know anyone who own a recording studio to help me with the recording and song arrangements. Haiz... In this condition, if I'm not wrong, LAZY IS ONE OF MY NATURAL CHARACTERISTICS. LAZY is an obstacle that blocking me from doing everything. Everything is still continue. Obviously, time still on the run. But the weakling me, trying to being a fool & stop all my action. Standing there in dark with empty brainded. Yes, honestly I like thinking, especially when a quiet & silent enviroment, alone. Thinking everything, infinity, no limitations. & that will be the source power of my own "masterpiece" no matter music or poem. Well, now i can't hope for unlogical thing such as spend my whole holiday beside a beautiful beach as seen in many anime... that's impossible. Hope that I can becomes more hardworking & focus in everything which left in my hand. Holiday, got some rest for the sake of more challenging path we take in the future.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

certain hope

Hello 09', goodbye 08'. No matter what year is that, that must be a way, full of adventure waiting for you. My opinion of 08'. Many things happens. Economic crisis, Mumbai Terror, Israel war, earthquake of Sichuan, China. All I can see is just desperation, tears. There is no joy on our land. All can I do is just keep praying. Asking for love, asking for peace, asking for harmony.Along year 08', me, staying low, being silent, keeping myself away from crowd. I even din't remember how to smile properly. Coz my future is blurred. Still in my way of searching direction. Hopefully 09' I can become more independent. Can this world change after Obama's judgement?? I think this not related. The most important is we can keep running foward to the checkpoint & sucess. Even I'm not too confident, but that's the only way & starting point that leading us to sucess although I'm not addict bout Obama but support him. We say "YES WE CAN!!".