Monday, January 25, 2010

before; during; after


Feeling nervous. Actually I study quite early in order to prepare the test. Programming. Practice + practice + practice... But as (me) as my own enemy, I have to fight with my own laziness.
Sometimes I think... Technology is cool, awesome. But in the opposite, human can spend the whole day in their room, get caught in front of an lifeless object, computer. Facebook, blog spot, live messenger, music, movies. Yes, all that kind of thing is for filling our time. But in the same way, limit our time. And somebody will get addict with it, just like me. Cause you won't feel nervous when playing something. But when you back you back into reality, everything become a mess... -_-"

So, my study time become so limited until a few days before the test. Actually, I feel the pressure of that, just, the subject which take me several months to take the paper. PASS!! NO FAIL!!
After all, I don't care those fuzzy pressure. Throw it away, and do what I should do. Getting back to nervous after all. XO

During: the test...

Simple action. Mind control... base, ability, mind. Do what I know, leave what I don't know. just feel my brain quite blank. No nervous either. But I wonder how I answer those question across a blank mind... N, auto pilot mode on~
Smoothly gone through 2 hours paper. Don't know why, I feeling 5% joy : 95% empty. Maybe is I take the paper at last?? Who knows?....

No really gone through any celebration. 1st thing to do, get back my hometown to stay several days in my home sweet home. Daddy & mommy, soooo.... sorry for delaying the time I come back. But nothing change. Mom's cooking still brilliant as usual, dad still caring as usual. Love ya... daddy and mommy.
Still on the plan what I want to do... planning for the next move. Meanwhile, take a rest. ^^

Monday, January 18, 2010

Futuristic Imagination

This song, lead me between illusion and reality. It inform me, from the start, to stay on the path of fantasy. Can I see my dream in reality? Along the time, Deja-vu happens too often in my life. Can't expect what will happen next. But once...

In a dream, while I...
Stay awake in a silent night, standing in center of a lavender field, looking up to the night sky, the spread of milky way, shooting star as an ornament, the blue flame, flowing and fall from the sky, ...

Is it exist? Will it happen in the future? Is it true or just a decoy? A blank imagination?
I don't know and I don't care.

Believe tomorrow, believe we can change our destiny, believe we exist to control our future.

The night is sealed. If I get caught in the confusion, it’s over.
If I’ve lost my way, I may as well throw away my reasons.

I’m indulging in dreams again. In the future that continues unclearly,
I’ll still know why I can forgive you.

This is a night to listen carefully.
I can imitate that reason and change.
In order to know your ways, I don’t mind cutting the roots of the future.

Before we rewind, let’s dry those tears.
If you’re ready to be blown away, let’s return to the dream.

Again, the shaking words repeat, ringing in my ears.
Now, I know that you would disappear for me.

I’m indulging in dreams again; now, I wake up.
I know why I can forgive you who will disappear tomorrow.

Can you tell me what you define as a mistake and change?
If I can have the meaning, I don’t mind if the future forgets.

This is a night to listen carefully.
I can imitate that reason and change.
In order to know your ways, I don’t mind cutting the roots of the future.

I don’t mind cutting the roots of the future.

Higashi no Eden(Eden of the east) ED 01

Probably the best song I ever heard. SFP is so futuristic. +1000000

Monday, January 11, 2010

Be mature! Boys & Girls~

Kuala Lumpur fire investigators inspect the damage to the Metro Tabernacle Church on Friday. - AP Photo - 8 January, 2010

(The Star) Tuesday January 12, 2010

SIB church in Seremban the latest victim of arson attack

Seremban: The main entrance of Sidang Injil Borneo (SIB) church at the Lakeview Square in Seremban was scorched early yesterday in an arson attempt.

The Metro Tabernacle Church in Desa Melawati, Kuala Lumpur was damaged after a group of youths threw flammable materials into the ground floor of the church located in a shoplot. - 8 January, 2010

The attack on the three-storey church, located in a secluded spot behind a row of shop houses and less than a kilometre from the district police headquarters, is believed to have occurred between 1.30am and 8.30am.

“The arsonist(s) splashed petrol on the wooden door and must have then thrown a piece of burning paper at it,” said Osman.

However, as petrol had seeped into the carpet inside the church causing it to smolder, there was smoke inside the building when police arrived at about 9am.

Eddy said it was fortunate that the carpet did not catch fire or the building could have been damaged.

During his visit to the church, Mentri Besar Datuk Seri Mohamad Hasan expressed regret over the attack and offered to pay for the damage as a goodwill gesture.

Kuala Lumpur Fire and Rescue personnel conducting investigations at the Metro Tabernacle Church on Friday. - AP Photo - 8 January, 2010

He did not rule out the possibility of third parties trying to stoke tensions between Muslims and Christians.State DAP chief Anthony Loke Siew Fook said the arsonists showed they had no fear of getting caught.

Barisan Nasional’s Rahang service center coordinator Yip Chee Kiong said those behind such attacks should realize that their actions could jeopardize peace in Malaysia.

Volunteers cleaning up the Metro Tabernacle Church in Desa Melawati, Kuala Lumpur on Friday. - 8 January, 2010

N's view:

A bunch of morons and idiots start some argument because of one word. So that's what they concern?? You guys gonna know. Be merry and behave, those idiots. If this country is not M'sia, you probably being found dead being insert several 7.62 x 39mm M43 in your head.

Everything start with a WHAT... Ends with a WHY. So, try to be more rational, more mature. Do humans forget what is share?? What is peace??
Without concern about races. We're all the same. Under the same moon; under the same sun; under the same sky... Why should we thinking about fighting others to spoil the harmonious?? Action is important. But don't forget to think!! Before you action. Different action can lead to different consequences. Please stop doing this nonsense things!!

For me, M'sia is a unique country. Many races, many cultural, many religion. But in Rojak condition, we stay together. Even there is economic or political problem, or further problem. We stay as united as we can. I know every person can change. But what direction we're headed?? What we'll become?? Make sure we choose the right path, in a right environment.

I think One Malaysia is a good motto. But what about now? What about the future? Actually, almost all religion lead us to live a meaningful life in their own way. But too bad, cause I read a quite funny article. Maybe that is some kinda relation with this. Although we're in Islamic country. "Why is crime in Japan lower then Christian country."

But still, I hope this motto can lead us to our 2020, or the future we desired for. Feeling deep and silent for what happened around me. Just like I am a time traveler. Everything become so slow... so gray...

I'll pray, so that this incident can stop, so that world will become peace. Together as one, we create a world into utopia. God, hear us.

Jackson Curtis: No matter what happens, we all stay together...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

N'ew act

Friday, January 01, 2010 12.00am

N found a new land with his boat. Which travel with him over 20 years. That boat, which full of memories, smile, tears, sorrow, happiness, anger, depress... all those feeling that a normal human supposed to be feel. N named that boat, Experience.

20 years. Long? Short? Not that concern. What important is how N feels. Gone through fragment by fragment of feelings, memories.

20 years is long because I want to be honest. When I falling in the dark, searching for the light path, fear to hang along with others... promise others with 'yes' word. Don't know how to say 'no'... Even when somebody hurt N... Lie to others... find a way to cover up the lies... Living in a world... without color.

N's body is cure faster from physical injuries. But N's heart and feeling take a long time to heal. The dark fragment. But thanks to god, god knows what N is searching for...~

20 years is fast. When there is happy and enjoying moment. Beautiful things won't last long. Agree?? Don't agree?? When a person happy and enjoying, like hell he/she alert of the time. Human, try to extend their most enjoyable moment as long as they can.

Enjoy is the best thing ever. But, no matter how we extend, time is time. Enjoy may take a long time. The bad thing is we didn't realize. In other way, Time flies in the speed of light. That's why, N feels 20 years is fast. Anyway, those things which is always nice and perfect is still exist. In dream and imagination. A pure white fragment and illusion fragment.

20 years~
Good and bad things, news, happens most of the time. But this 20 years, N struggle to be honest. N learn to put 1st priority on other person.
In this complicated and diverging world... N try to feel and experience what is happen around him. N learns. Not matter how others think about him. Always, he is trying his best. No matter what fragment it is, all those are precious fragment that fill N's heart. That makes N a normal person.

Over how many years god's been watching N? Leading N? Bless N? Comfort N?
Not even an answer for those question. What can N do is continued his beliefs, trust what he can trust.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010 6.32pm

The land of 2010. A land that full of thriller and adventures. 2009 has bcome history. And I, N will make 2010 become a true fantasy. Cheers for this amazing years!!

The places...

The experience, the passion...

Will becomes true!!

God bless all of us...~