Wednesday, March 31, 2010


"Just die already!!"

An old geezer said that to his puppy...
which lost it's family not long after it was born.

A cruel word... actually has a reason behind it.

The old man had a promise with that dog, I mean the puppy.
Since the old man hate someone's leaving(dead), looking all their friends come for weeping and crying.
Even he may cry himself, but he try not to let his friends drop a tears. And that become his principal of life long-long time ago.

From that moment, they become a pair of freaking idiots.
"Just die already!!"
Where the master curse his pet, the pet curse back it's master. They don't wanna lose each other. That's how they live their life. They stay close to each other.

But time passed. Kintarou, it become older as well as his master. They've sick and separated within veterinary and hospital. (Of course. Normally human and animal will do!!)

Still, at the last moment, they refuse to give up they will of living unless they see one of them died. They want to offer the last cry and tears to their precious old friend.
So they gone through all of obstacles and challenge and try to meet each other.

In the end, they run together to exhaust each other. The dog actually want its master to rest, by not letting its master shaking in pain, suffering. A lot of memories flow over Kintarou's mind.

The old man had the first fall as well. So the dog think he had departed, then it collapsed.

"I win..."
"You let your old friend cry..."
"Thank you..."
"My old friend..."
The old man saw his pet died and had the last cried for it. That's how his last breath goes. on the road beside a small stream, under a beautiful sunset. They've rest their body and beautiful soul.

That story really touches me...

It let me understand not every cruel words had a cruel reason behind.
Not every tough advice had a bad meaning behind.
The thorn sacrifice its appearance in order to protect the beautiful roses.

Hope that, I had the spirit to live on as long as well, and I'll pay my respect too everybody around me. Appearance is not the most important though.
I hope that my shoulder can handle all the suffer, as a human.
I'm sure Gandhi and Napoleon also believed in love
We don't want to replace mistake with mistake, right?

Open the door, go out of this room where there's no one
With the courage you gave me, I could go anywhere, do anything
In this world where everyone's gender and birthplace are different

I want to believe that, that is love
And I will keep on searching

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Like usual, I hide in my room. The time is 12:58pm. It's time for my "brunch"(Breakfast + lunch). But I don't know why. I'm thinking of something. Taking a cup of plain water. Looking at the sky through the window.

There is quite hot outside. But I feel shaded in my heart. Looking the white clouds floating on the sky, thinking of the past. Simply nostalgic.

I miss my secondary school. Questioning... My friend, how are you? Where have you been?
Flash back to the school days...
On the way, riding my bicycle, watching the twilight, cross over the wind. It's nearer, my school, my youth playground.

The time we make fun of each other, sharing jokes, quite dirty sometime : x
Planning together to set a prank for somebody, even teacher!!!
The desk we hide our text book...
The canteen we go for a slack off...
The field and basketball court we use during recess...
The chalk and permanent marker we create our masterpiece...
The chair and the coordination we take in class...
The stairway we jump down...
Exam prank...
The bag I carry to school...
The "Buku Latihan" of our school...
Feeling and memories...
simply everything.

As I remember, to waving my hand for the farewell, after school.
Heading to west, a direction to go back my home, to my family.
The sunset is greeting me.
And secretly, I store every fragment that exist deep in my heart.
Silently... it stayed... starting from December 2006.

After 3 years and 3 months... I accidentally dig this out.
Honestly, I love myself, I love all my friends, and my youth. Out of 0% regret.
We're not the best, not the worst though. But we have this opportunity to exist and meet in this world. We can stay together to joke, mad, help, gossip, communicate...
I think I can lay on this memories when I feel happy and blessed. Thanks god.

Time passed...
The question hide deep in me. How am I? What had I being??
Well, after several years, remain; remains. Change; changes. Everyone have their way to be different, everyone have their reason to remain.
Everyone already had their own plan on their mind. They choose their pathway. I wouldn't block. No matter what I and we've become. Just simply believe in what we believe. As long they have their faith, I had my faith. We all stay in the right way.

The graduate is just a beginning.
Although we separated by the distance of reality, we connected under a sky.

An this bring me back to the memories...

Click here for original music video.

Following farewell and obvious words
that are released far and far away and disconnected

Some smashed petals at the footprints of someone
The Wind disappeared in the sky loneliness
Flowers will bloom once again and you won't be able to notice it
You disappeared without waiting spring

Following farewell and obvious words
The place I reach out my hand to was empty
Memories are so unreliable since we'll end up forgetting them
I follow them far and far away, still they just fade away

The birds flying all around the sky, the clouds, and our trapped selves
I was walking to look only for a reason
You and I escaped and are looking at the same sky

The lies, tears and my voice fell down and spilled
I'll make them reach you

Let the memories circulate inside the leaped season
What will I see if I jump out from there
I will take my memories along, since I'll end up forgetting them
I'll build a bridge to the blue sky that i can't reach now
If I'm going to forget farewell when time passes

Disappear far and far away and just become a flower

Soyonara no sora by Qwai
Gintama ED16

Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Hmm... It takes really some time to getting this update...
Congrats!! I'm back!!! -_-"
(with some laziness to write it all... haiz...)

Well... After CNY... very straight... result...
Not good as expected...
D for DAMN!!!

Argh!!!!~ I think I need to hear some ultra metal song like Sepultra to release my emotion!!!
(Caution!! This kind of music is not halal!! But my brother recommend to me... not bad to release stress...)

These days I had a hideout at KL. Use a lot of time to silent myself and think. I dunk myself in music, capture the scenic along the road when I take a car ride in KL, cause my eyes won't lie. I just want to blank everything, defrag the hard disk on my head. I think sometimes we need to do this to rearrange our life. Agree or ___??

I had done many things for others... I think this is the time to do what I want, for myself. Due to my personality, I am kinda person that free. I wanna choose what I want. I don't wanna died for others or what. Done nothing. Sorry for my selfishness... I wanna live freely without anything dragging my leg. Thanks to my parents... they understand that.

Not an expertise of multitasker, me. Thinking of focus on my study to get what I want. Don't wanna interrupt by anything. I just wanna focus on the last two subject I left. I wanna go convo with my dear friends. I wanna futher my study. Ya... there's something cruel for what I'm trying to said.
Money is important, but it's not everything.
What I desire is the knowledge, the skills of interact... like an emotion collector.
I enjoy the stories, from any people, poor or rich, good or bad life. I just wanna hear. As I said before, every fragment of memories is precious.

As like when a painter paints. Maybe they need the color of joy, the red... but sometimes they need to use the color of sadness, black... life is like a paint.
So how'd you paint your life??

Prior, music. I had decided. I think I had this destiny. I pray hard for it. My desire. Collecting agreements form everyone. I believe god won't lead me to a dead end... even GPS...

Yes... now what I can do is try to believe. I don't wanna know what will happen to me in the future. I just wanna gain everyone in happiness in this journey. No matter storm or rain, we can experience it, we bend our trouble outta solution. WE CAN!!
This process is to building up myself to help. In this life phrase, I'll keep running... even when I died... I hope you can attend my dark parade for my last requiem. I'll be happy for that.
Music!! No regrets!!

Ya... I'll share this music with you. It's gave me a lot of motivation. Now I've been crazy for post rock... IT"S SO FUTURISTIC!!!!!

I blend in with the crowd. My senses come apart.
Inside the transparent darkness, I’m free to be oppressed.
It can’t end like this. The future that we longed for isn’t in my grasp.
The escape route beckons me. Shaking my head, I started running.

Right now, let’s spin the roulette. Yeah, let’s gamble on the tomorrow we haven’t seen yet.
Take a deep breath and change the wind’s direction!

Unable to wait for a dream so elaborate that we won’t wake up, my heart is clamoring for tomorrow.
If the the match isn’t over yet, I’ll make my stand any number of times.
On to the future you want to be reborn in! Now, wave goodbye to yesterday!

If you’ve thrown away everything, your wish won’t disappear.
What were you afraid of? We’ll just obtain it later.

When you clap me on the shoulder, I get worn away and become smaller,
But I’m sure that the core that remains in me will shine brighter than anything.

At this point, we can still make it in time, so if we could say that the deep darkness was something chosen,
We can call the tomorrow that was emptied out a new beginning.
On to the future you want to be reborn in! Now, wave goodbye to yesterday!

Ah, right now, the wind blows along. Inside my body, a replacement for the morning comes.

Unable to wait for an elaborate dream we won’t wake up from, my heart is clamoring for tomorrow.
If the the match isn’t over yet, I’ll make my stand any number of times.
We can keep wishing and move on forward. Now, take the hand of the future!

The winner who repeatedly questioned and answered himself strained his eyes to look into the distance.
In the aimless tomorrow, on the other side of the darkness, I saw a wheel of light.
I’m sure the future that starts from here is something fragile -
There will be a time when it’ll become empty and split open.
When that time comes, I’ll shuffle again and pick another card – I’ll show you that.

Higashi no Eden movie II OP